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Having a child won’t stop a divorce

On Behalf of | Sep 23, 2021 | Divorce |

Couples who are struggling sometimes consider having children as a way to save the relationship. The belief is that they just need something to bring them closer together, and a child can do that. They may also have always dreamed of being a family, not just a couple, so they think the relationship issues they’re facing are because they don’t have children. 

However, experts agree that this will not work. You can’t stop a divorce or save a relationship by having kids. All you do is delay the divorce and make it more complicated when it does happen. 

Why doesn’t adding kids into the mix save your marriage?

There are many reasons why this does not work, including the following

  • A child takes up a lot of time, leaving less time for you and your partner to talk or work on your own issues. 
  • A child can be expensive and stressful, just making the relationship more difficult. 
  • If one of you is less dedicated to raising the child than the other, one person can feel like they’re doing all the work. 
  • Your expectation that a child will bring you closer is likely false, as it’s better to be close and connected before having the child. 
  • If you don’t agree on major issues without a child, what are the odds that you’re going to agree on major issues once you’re raising them?

Children can be a wonderful addition to any family, so it makes sense that people feel like having a child can improve the relationship, but it just doesn’t work that way. If you do end up getting divorced with kids, it’s more complex and you must know all of the legal options you have.