Divorce is difficult no matter the circumstances. And so is breaking the news of your divorce to the children – even if they are adults. Adult children, just like minors, can experience the same amount of emotional turmoil following the news of their parents’ divorce.
If you have resolved to file for a divorce, it is important that you find the right way to discuss your decision as well as the future of your family with your adult children. Here are a couple of strategies that can help you ease the tension for your adult children when breaking the news of your divorce to them:
A little respect goes a long way
If your kids were minors, you would be expected to give age-appropriate explanations for your divorce. But your kids are adults now. They deserve to understand what lead to your divorce and what happens next. You sure can give them sufficient information about the divorce without blaming the other parent or disclosing personal information like infidelity.
The importance of having a united front while disclosing the news of your divorce to the children cannot be overstated. Try as much as you can to come up with a joint “script” with the other parent ahead of the family meeting. If your kids live close by, consider scheduling a physical meeting. However, if they live far apart, then a conference call might suffice. The news about your divorce should be a joint declaration.
Talk about the future
Age notwithstanding, it is always important that you put the future into perspective when talking about divorce to kids. Understand how the divorce will impact them and talk about family plans going forward. Most important, talk about how you will relate with your children and grandchildren going forward.
If the kids were minors, the court would likely oversee a parenting schedule for them. But since this is not the case, it will be up to you to define your post-divorce relationship with the kids.
No matter how old the kids are, a conversation about their parents’ divorce is never an easy one. Find out how you can discuss your divorce with adult children without hurting anyone’s interests.